A Gamemaker's Mistake
by Mewgia Mirrorcoat
Summary: A Gamemaker adds a little katamari into the 74th Annual Hunger Games. This is a terrible, terrible mistake. Crackfic.


Disclaimer: I do not own either the Hunger Games of Katamari Damacy and am not making any profit from this. Seriously, who makes profit from writing crack crossovers?

A/N: I really have no explanation for this. Other than it was a little while in the making and I may have had too much tea in the last few hours. Assume that any characters you wanted alive (aside from those at the Cornucopia) escaped the wrath of Katniss.

* * *

_**A Gamemaker's Mistake**_

Katniss had finished emptying through her pack when she found it.

Survival was all that was on her mind, after witnessing the slaughter at the Cornucopia. Perhaps it was luck that the arena had a forest setting; it was familiar to her, she could hunt, sustain herself, keep moving despite the dangers around her. It was other humans she feared, not the wildlife in the woods.

But she was going to win. She had to, for Prim, Gale, her mother, District Twelve, even if it meant going up the Careers or killing the other tributes in this wretched game…

So what in the world was this stupid little ball supposed to do?!

It had been buried in the very bottom of her pack. This tiny green ball, barely the size of berry, covered in odd white bumps. She doubted it was food, but it had to have some useful purpose, else the Gamemakers wouldn't have included it there. Perhaps a poison capsule of some sort? A toy, bait, something to use in a trap?

She couldn't think of a use. In desperation, she rolled it around in her dirt covered hands, trying to think about her next action. She had to keep moving, find water, stay above the ground at night, try not to draw attention to herself, find game to eat…

She opened her hand to stare at the ball, thinking that maybe it's only purpose was as a toy to ease her mind. She had little use for trinkets, she thought, as she gazed dully at the now dirt-encrusted ball. But…

Katniss noticed that her hand was cleaner than before, with tracks on it as though the ball had rolled across it and picked up every piece of dirt smaller than it. _Hmm. Maybe a cleaner of some sort._ _Maybe some new prototype from the Capitol._

She used it to pick up the rest of the dirt from her hands, then placed it in a pocket. She hoped she wouldn't regret keeping something so petty with her, but maybe it could help her cover some of her tracks later.

* * *

It was while she was eating her first meal of the Games that she realized something interesting about the cleaning ball.

It continued to pick things up, even when its surface was already covered.

In fact, she noticed as she looked at it from where it fallen near the fire pit, it seemed to pick up anything smaller than its current size.

It had grown slightly bigger due to the various layers of dirt and grime it had picked up, and now with a larger surface area and circumference, had some seeds and a few tiny chips of bark attached to it. Curious, Katniss leaned down and gave it a gentle flick of a finger.

It rolled, picking up a bit more of the ground as it went.

_Does it… do that with everything?_

She nudged it forward. It rolled and became slightly more covered in dirt and ashes. She flicked it again, harder this time, and it became larger as more became stuck to it. Now there were a few small leaves and a broken twig.

Katniss let her eyes widen as she gazed at the ball, now a good few times bigger than its original size. An odd, ridiculous idea had awoken in her head, but it depended entirely on what this cleaning ball was capable of.

Ten minutes later, her temporary resting spot now looked like a crater and the ball was half her height. She wondered just how practical this was.

But the ball had accidentally picked up the coals of her fire and the remains of both the trap and her meal, and having been unable to stop herself in time, she had touched the blazing red tinder. It had done nothing to her. In fact, it had felt utterly normal, if oddly loving. Just holding the ball gave her a strange, warm feeling in her heart.

And another one of invincibility. She knew it was awful, outrageous, to think that she was invincible here in this deathtrap of a game, but this odd thing, this ball, just seemed to awaken more and more thoughts in her mind. It was not more difficult to move now than it had when she first began experimenting with it, and it seemed to pick up anything smaller than it. Except for her, who rolled it.

If this was its purpose, to have anything smaller than it stick to it, and for the roller to create a larger and larger clump of things…

Katniss let out a laugh. She let the deaths of the other tributes play in her mind, then the broadcasts of the previous Hunger Games. She knew how she could win.

Maybe she could even change the game and its rules.

* * *

"President Snow! _President Snow!_"

"Yes, I see it!" the man snapped, staring out the window at the giant monstrosity of a ball rolling across the Capitol landscape. "Do whatever you can to destroy it! Even if it means sacrificing this precinct!"

The soldier stood, frozen in silence.

"… very well sir."

It had been so little and innocuous at first. That ball, a 'katamari', as it had been called, was so called because its tendency to turn into a little clump of dirt after being used. Its inclusion in the Games had been more of a joke than anything – for what use did Tributes really have for cleaning themselves when twenty-three would soon die – to see the "Girl on Fire" playing with it had been mostly pathetic, laughable.

Then she had started using it.

Now President Snow had a devastating disaster on his hands. First to go was the earth, rocks, small bushes. Then the small trees, the larger stones, and then before anyone could anticipate it, a giant ball made from greenery and animals was now rolling across the arena.

The other tributes were taken by it, and if they tried to fight the katamari's rampage, they were only pulled into its giant mass. The most ridiculous moment was when the other District Twelve tribute and the tiny girl from District Eleven joined with that mad huntress. They seemed completely invincible.

Then the tall trees went. Then the Cornucopia. The mines and supplies were no match against it. The machinery that supplied energy to the arena's borders was pulled into it too. One of the aircraft sent to put an end to the onslaught was only added to the humongous clump.

And now the katamari was wreaking havoc across the Capitol.

Snow gaped as he saw the ball pick up a small building.

"This is out of control…" he whispered, feeling fear strike his heart. He heard the screams of people from outside, the failure of ammunition and air strikes, the giant crushes as building after building became part of the mass. And somewhere at the bottom were three young tributes, laughing at the destruction they were causing.

The Games were ruined. His control over the populace was gone as this katamari pulled everything into its embrace, making everything one with itself.

Then he realized it was so large, he could barely make out the sky.

And then he also realized it was rolling directly for the building he was standing in.

"Evacuate!" he screamed as he backed away from the window, panicking. He fell over a chair in his rush to escape, but the others around him were already running. "We must escape - "

There was a great roar, then the feeling of vertigo as everything tilted and turned dark. A great power dragged him to one point and pinned him there, pulling him towards a center of something. It was inclusive, loving, and it wanted him to be a part of it.

Amidst it all, he thought he heard a small catchy song. The song of the katamari.

_Na naaaaa na na na na na naa naa na katamari damacy…_

* * *

"And that," Katniss finished, "is how we broke the Hunger Games and ended the Capitol's rule."

Gale only shook his head incredulously. He still found it difficult to believe that his Katnip was sitting next to him, along with Peeta, who had added onto her insane tale. Primrose was busy introducing Rue to her goat.

But with the Peacekeepers in disarray and the districts taking it upon themselves to become independent, now with the Capitol completely gone, he couldn't think of a better story. And he had seen much of it too, that rolling ball of… stuff.

"It was entertainment for the Capitol at first, I think," Peeta shrugged as he tore a piece of meat off the roasted duck the three of them were sharing. "Then we broke the barrier and went into the Capitol, and… now there's no Capitol."

Gale frowned as he stared at the piece of wing he had in his hand. "Then what happened to the ball?"

Katniss and Peeta looked at each other.

"We don't actually know," Katniss finally said slowly, seeming a little disturbed by it. "Rue says she saw this weird man with a sideways cylinder for a head take it and turn it into a star, but in any case it's gone. Completely vanished."

Peeta frowned and glanced at her. "You think there are any more of those cleaning ball things around? As great as this one was - "

"If they were all Capitol, they all would've been picked up by ours," Katniss replied. "We're probably safe."

"And somewhere in the sky is a star made of the Capitol buildings," Gale weakly joked.

They were silent for a few moments, watching the skyline with ease. They were freer now than they ever had been in their lives.

"What do you think it was really called? Can't have been 'cleaning ball'."

"Cinna says it's called a katamari. He never thought they could be used like that though."

"Huh. Strange name."

Katniss bit into her own piece of meat, smiling to herself.

And couldn't help humming a little tune as they looked into the world above.


End file.
